


Letterkenny but make it Criminal

by Descended_from_Hufflepuffs



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: Gen, It gets dark, Minor Character Death, There is death, but I think it's good, drug lords baby, mob time baby, violence mentioned and described
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:54:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22430641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Descended_from_Hufflepuffs/pseuds/Descended_from_Hufflepuffs
Summary: Letterkenny except they're crime lords, lackeys, and cops. That's it that's the fic.
Relationships: Daryl & Katy & Squirrelly Dan & Wayne (Letterkenny)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Letterkenny but make it Criminal

**Author's Note:**

> So....has anyone else noticed that Tiio would make a great femme fatale? Because I have and that's what birthed this thing. Enjoy!

10 grand.

$10,000.

The books said they should have another $10,000 in the stash. No matter how many times they counted it, they were short. Coach thought maybe it was just his math but Reilly and Jonesy confirmed it. The numbers Shoresy wrote in the books didn’t match the bank.

After asking around, it turned out Shoresy was making his own deals. Deals that weren’t approved by the Coach. Fortunately, the Natives and the Skids were willing to renegotiate, even if they weren’t too happy about being duped.

Shoresy would not be so lucky. He’d coasted along for a while, what with being the only educated guy in the gang. He could smooth talk his way out of just about anything while the others preferred to use fists. But maybe Coach just found the negotiations more entertaining when there was a little blood involved. Nothing personal. It wouldn’t be his fault if Reilly and Jonesy went a little overboard on letting Shoresy know he wasn’t welcome back.

\-----------------------------

Reilly and Jonesy cornered him on the edge of their turf. “Figured out your little scheme, buddy.”

“Thought you could cheat the gang out of a cool ten grand, buddy?”

“We’re not fucking stupid, buddy.”

Reilly’s fist cracked against Shoresy’s jaw, knocking him to the ground. Jonesy stood behind him and lit a cigarette. “Where’s the money?”

“I-I don’t have it anymore.”

Reilly slapped him. “Where’d ya spend it?”

“None of yer business, fuckwads.”

Reilly turned back to Jonesy. “Hear that? It’s none of our business.”

Jonesy shrugged. “None of Coach’s business where you get the ten g’s. But if we don’t get it by Friday, we’re allowed to kill ya. So...keep that in mind.”

Reilly stood and kicked him in the stomach before they left, leaving Shoresy to figure out how he was going to get out of this mess.

\------------------------------

Tanis put out her cigarette and glared at the man sitting across from her. “Alright, we’ll let you sell on our turf, but we get a 55% cut.”

“30,” was the counter offer from the Irishman.

“50.”

“35.”

“50.”

“You’re a bitch.”

“You knew that,” she replied with a smirk. “Look, we were gettin’ 60 on Shoresy’s deal, or so he told us. 50 is generous.”

“It’s highway robbery,” the other spat, pouring another drink for them.

“You want the deal or not?”

Grumbling, he nodded. “40%. That’s as high as I’ll go.”

“And 50 is as low as I’ll go. Seems we’re at an impasse, guess this was a waste of my time.” She stood up to leave but paused as he put his hand up.

“40% and...we’ll help you take out the Skids.”

Tanis growled. The Skids had been causing trouble on her turf for months now, selling without permission, starting fights, getting her guys arrested… She’d take them out herself but she knew the police would be on it and she didn’t have the same protections as other gangs. “Make it 45 and you got a deal.”

The Coach grinned, shaking her hand. “45 it is. I’ll be sending my boys over tomorrow to handle your pest problem.”

“Don’t stretch ‘em too thin now. I hear you go your own pest issues.”

“Let me worry about that. Have a nice night.”

With the deal settled, the two parted ways, each at least somewhat satisfied with their end of the bargain.

\-----------------------------------------

Katy set out a beer for both the men in front of her and glared at her stoic brother. “You’re burning a hole in my table.”

“Our table,” he grumbled, but put his cigarette in the ashtray. The bar technically belonged to both of them, passed down by their parents, but Katy was the one who really ran the place. Wayne was too busy with police work to bother with the business but she did a fine job on her own.

“What’s bothering you now?”

“The Irish gang.” The reply came from Wayne’s partner, Daryl. They’d been working together since their beat days and being detectives certainly wasn’t going to stop that. “They made a collection round today.”

“Yeah, I know.” Katy rolled her eyes. “We made about fifteen loans to people who didn’t make it this month. When are you gonna do something about those guys?”

“As soon as they get their hands out of the pocket of the Commissioner, the Inspector, and about half our force,” Wayne snapped. “We don’t have enough evidence and even if we did, we’d never get the approval for an arrest.”

“Well, you’d better figure something out before they catch wind of you sniffing around,” Katy warned. “His best boys are regulars here and one of their girls used to work for me; can’t have anything happening to the bar, got it?”

“10-4.”

“Over and out.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Stewart smiled at the final product of his special concoction. “I think we’re ready to go for another run. Roald! Ready the men!”

Roald bit his lip and shook his head. “No, no men. Devon and Darian are still recovering from our last run and Connor’s still out of it. It’s just us.”

Stewart growled. “How am I supposed to make my name in this town with such an incompetent force?!”

“Don’t be mad! Look, if we just wait-”   


“Greatness waits for no one! Go out there and find a child to bribe. I’ll go myself this time.”

Roald gulped. “But Stewart-”

“GO!”

\---------------------------------------------------------

The stage is set, the pieces are in place. Who will make the next move? Stay tuned… 


End file.
